JAMES WREN
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An '80s and '90s Boy

Here are a few stories from my life. I hope you enjoy them.

TST: Tsim Sha Time

31/5/2025

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Picture
I step off the Star Ferry in TST and head to McDonald's to pick up my breakfast. Yeah, I know, typical expat gweilo, but I'm 21 and I go with what's familiar. Thick, humid air as I make my way along Canton Road for the short walk to Ocean Centre, the location of my office.
 
Well, not MY office, the office of USA Today. I feel like a big shot, but I'm just a boy in an adult's world. The cool air conditioning in the lobby as I head to the lift.

Hong Kong is great, but this is just an office job at the end of the day - as the song that's often in my head, "This could be Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome..." Everything outside the office is enchanting, exciting, and vibrant, but an office cubicle is...at the end of the day, an office cubicle.
 
The whole office space is divided into cubicles, where we sit for the day and I clock watch for the most part. I love Lamma Island, and I can't wait to get home. Bad attitude? Maybe, but sometimes it just feels like I'm wearing a suit that doesn't fit, quite literally.
 
My job today? Phoning hotels to see if they have copies of USA Today. Fun times. Bishop Lei, Conrad, Hilton, Marco Polo, Regent, and many others.
Winnie sits near me, but she's very quiet. I don't think she likes me much. I attempt small talk. She doesn't want that. Fair enough.
Mark, my American boss, is away in the USA for a week at the Gannett Headquarters in DC.
What to do.
What to do.....I have to get out.
Muted conversations in Cantonese from Raymond's office. He's ok, a bit of a sycophant toward Mark, but nice enough. Mark could say, "Hey Raymond, tomorrow I want you to wear a hat made of a roast lamb dinner" and Raymond would do it, I'm sure.
 
He gets drunk after one beer - the other night we went out as a team and had a good laugh, but he was slurring his words in no time. The next day in the office I said to him, "Hey Raymond, that was a fun night!"
"Come into my office and close the door!"
Oh god...what have I said?
"Listen to me, you don't ever mix social life and work, this is a place of work, don't talk about it again, do you understand?"
I understood.
The next week, drunk again, laughing, back slapping, singing.
The next morning? I kept my mouth shut.
What to do...what to do....no one in the office cares if I burst into flames, I could do...what's the word? Oh yes, that's it...anything.
The rule in the office is, if you have a meeting somewhere else, write it on the whiteboard.
It's only 9am and I could sleep on my keyboard.
Stuff this, I'm going out.
I walk to the board and take a pen.
What to write...what to write....
"Meeting" first word written....so where shall I go?
f*** it, I'll just write it.
"Conrad Hotel"
And the reason? Think James, think.
"Advertising and marketing"
Meeting with...manager.
How generic can you get?
Winnie was on the phone, can't say goodbye to her...ah well, shame to interrupt her. I try to catch her eye. Waste of time.
Raymond is in his office, the door is closed, he's either working or playing Chess on his computer, I've caught him a few times and seen him minimise it quickly. Check mate, Raymond!
 
Doo Doo is on reception, a lovely lady, the only one who seems happy.
"Bye Doo Doo, meeting at..."
Before I could say anymore, she said "ok no problem bye"
Out the door
Down the lift
Out onto Canton Rd. The air is so heavy today, but it's a cloudless sky and too nice to sit behind a beige computer in a grey cubicle with grumpy Winnie.
Past Planet Hollywood. The burgers are good there.
Past the newspaper stalls, into the Star Ferry terminal, I'm upstairs on the ferry today, why not? It's a beautiful morning.
Freedom.
I can drag this out for hours.
I walk from Central to the Conrad....very slowly.
When I get there, the door is opened for me. A smell of jasmine and opulence.
Now what?
A Coke with ice and lemon. It makes a nice sound as the waiter approaches with it on the tray.
To ease my conscience, I decide to have a meeting.
I approach reception.
"Can I speak to the manager, please? My name is James Wren, Circulation Sales Manager, USA Today." I didn't manage a thing, but I had a card, which I handed over with two hands.
The manager came out. I shook his hand. I asked if he was happy with USA Today and how many of the guests ask for it in the morning. He gave me a spreadsheet.
"Maybe we can do a promotion together" I said.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Can I set up a meeting with you to discuss?"
"Of course"
He was free two days later. We had lunch and talked about advertising and inserts. None of it came to fruition, but that steak, I'm telling you, it was amazing....
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